So, Monday was the start of the whole 30 diet. How was I feeling before? AWFUL. How am I feeling now? Not much better. But, I have learned and experienced many things since starting. Here is a quick snapshot.
~Day one: DRINK MORE WATER
~Shopping has gotten very expensive
~If you can make it with cheese you can make it with out cheese
~On Tuesday I made my first pot roast...minus the potatoes...it was yummy and easy. Now I want a crockpot of my own
~The sugar crash takes several days to catch up. while sitting at my desk today I stood up to talk to a supervisor and almost passed out. NOT cool.
~I guess I'm learning to cook. I can't make rice so I had to be more creative with my chicken.
~I crave sugary and salty things. So, how do I fill this? Fruits, veggies and salted almonds.
~Avacado is NASTY. Contrary to what my friends think it is gross in taste and sketchy in texture.
~Stores/manufacturers put sugar in the stupidest of things. So be careful. Its in your ketchup, salsa, nuts, ham, bacon, sausage, juice, salad dressings...ok some of these I knew about...others I was appalled beecause they DON'T NEED sugar added. This is just a short list.
~There is a ton more planning and preparing
~Doing this alongside someone is helpful. Why? Because you can use each other as a resource and to be accountable. You aren't the only one who can't dig into the candy dish or eat the cookie that was just offered to you.
~I am craving everything I can't have. Did I already say that?
~Stressful situations: like the squirrel chewing through the wires in teh call center and crashing the whole building....well that can make you so stressed that it is incredibly tempting to eat.
Completely random and not related. Squirrels. They are AWFUL. Seriously? He chewed through the fiber optic wire between buildings and crashed us. We ran the ENTIRE call center on four phones. Not a HUGE deal in the overnight...but when the downstairs staff also needs to run operations...its special. We had a few good laughs and bonding moments in the board room of the main agency. I am impressed with how smoothly things ran and how we were able to keep things running with two downstairs phones and two upstairs phones, no printers, no helpful databases and little communication with the regular call center staff. But I am grateful to be back at a "normal" station. As a coworker says: this office is schizophrenic.
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
A Brief Quote
I found myself thinking about this quote this morning that came to my work email:
"Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.
Life is beauty, admire it.
Life is a dream, realize it.
Life is a challenge, meet it.
Life is a duty, complete it.
Life is a game, play it.
Life is a promise, fulfill it.
Life is sorrow, overcome it.
Life is a song, sing it.
Life is a struggle, accept it.
Life is a tragedy, confront it.
Life is an adventure, dare it.
Life is luck, make it.
Life is too precious, do not destroy it.
Life is life, fight for it."
-- Mother Teresa
"Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.
Life is beauty, admire it.
Life is a dream, realize it.
Life is a challenge, meet it.
Life is a duty, complete it.
Life is a game, play it.
Life is a promise, fulfill it.
Life is sorrow, overcome it.
Life is a song, sing it.
Life is a struggle, accept it.
Life is a tragedy, confront it.
Life is an adventure, dare it.
Life is luck, make it.
Life is too precious, do not destroy it.
Life is life, fight for it."
-- Mother Teresa
Saturday, February 18, 2012
We are one
Somewhere between walking out our front doors and stepping foot on the bus we become one. No matter our age, gender, religious affiliation, ethnicity, language spoken, status in life, physicial limitation or disability, or any other factor...we are one. We all have a destination and a starting point. We are all traveling on someone else's watch. We have given up control. We travel to work, appointments, shopping, friend's houses...maybe we simply take the bus for a joy ride...who knows. If we get on the wrong bus...o well. You can't go back. You must find a new way to get there. We become one. There is no distinction between us. I ride with people who are above me in the professional world. I ride with people who are my clients. I ride with people who are just like me, struggling to find their way in a blurry world. I ride with people who are unemployed, on welfare and struggling to make ends meet. I ride with people who are simply trying to live their own life.
As I sat on the bus last night and the woman next to me realized she had gotten on the wrong bus, this reality hit me. Why? Because I have spent so much time being angry about the bus situation. But sometimes I wonder what I can do to make it better? What can I do to make more buses run and to save the stress. Absolutely nothing. I can't change the fact that we must rely on someone else's wheels. I want to be used in this area of my life. I want my braveness in riding the bus to build the kingdom. I want to speak love to these people, my fellow travelers. I want to pray for their souls, not just their rides. I want to pray for their journey, not just the destination.
I have learned a lot on the bus. I have feared a lot, experienced a lot and shed many tears. While I will still appreciate any ride offered to me and be incredibly grateful for the reprieve from this ordeal...I will try to greet my trips on the bus with joy, with joy that overflows.
As I sat on the bus last night and the woman next to me realized she had gotten on the wrong bus, this reality hit me. Why? Because I have spent so much time being angry about the bus situation. But sometimes I wonder what I can do to make it better? What can I do to make more buses run and to save the stress. Absolutely nothing. I can't change the fact that we must rely on someone else's wheels. I want to be used in this area of my life. I want my braveness in riding the bus to build the kingdom. I want to speak love to these people, my fellow travelers. I want to pray for their souls, not just their rides. I want to pray for their journey, not just the destination.
I have learned a lot on the bus. I have feared a lot, experienced a lot and shed many tears. While I will still appreciate any ride offered to me and be incredibly grateful for the reprieve from this ordeal...I will try to greet my trips on the bus with joy, with joy that overflows.
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Six Beaches in Six Days.
So I spent last week in Florida with dear friend. We didn't go all out in the way others do. No Disney, no late nights, no crazy adventures. We simply kept it low key and simple...however I could feel the aches in my legs as we returned back each day.
The idea was go go on a vacation but to see family in the process and to be an encouragement to each otehr and to our grandparents. For me, it was crazy. My grandparents take every opportunity to do all the things tourists should do while in Sarasota. It was a joy to walk the beaches of Siesta and Lido Keys. The sand was like flour between our toes. We learned how to play Shuffle Board and we enjoyed the luxury of fun meals.
As we transitioned to another home to spend time with I could help but notice HOW different our grandparents were. While my grandparents want to do everything with us and take us on adventures, hers were happy to let us go and do our own thing. Mine prayed before meals while hers just started the meal when the first person took a bite. But as we spent more time with them I was stopped in my tracks to see that in reality, they are so similar. Our grandparents care deeply about us and boast about the pride they have in each and every one of their grandparents. They complain as a way of showing their love and gratitude and what they are passionate about. In an odd way they bicker in the same way. Both our grandfathers don't care to participate in many of the outings...however they refuse to just let their wives go and do their own thing. They will insist on driving and sitting in the car. While they will complain the whole time, they would have it no other way. Our grandparents have worked hard for what they have and treasure every moment. I learned a lot about myself and my family as I spent time in Florida.
I learned two very interesting things about animals.
1. I learned the difference between Asian and African elephans. First, their ears are in the shape of the continent they come from. Secondly the Asian elephans all have tusks while NOT all African elephants do. African Elephants have two "fingers" on teh end of the trunk while Asian elephants have one. It was interesting to me.
2. We also learned the difference between Animal Rights Activists and Animal Welfare Advocates. An Activist would not want to see any human-animal interaction, would not want house pets and would also not like to see places like Zoos, Aniaml reserves, Busch Gardens or any other habitats. An Advocate would want to see healthy human-animal interaction. They care about and advocate for the proper care and training of animals. I personaly am an animal welfare advocate and proud of it!
My conclusion is this. Florida is a nice place to visit. However I will nto move there. Though I loved the warmth I would not want to struggle through the heat of the summer.
The idea was go go on a vacation but to see family in the process and to be an encouragement to each otehr and to our grandparents. For me, it was crazy. My grandparents take every opportunity to do all the things tourists should do while in Sarasota. It was a joy to walk the beaches of Siesta and Lido Keys. The sand was like flour between our toes. We learned how to play Shuffle Board and we enjoyed the luxury of fun meals.
As we transitioned to another home to spend time with I could help but notice HOW different our grandparents were. While my grandparents want to do everything with us and take us on adventures, hers were happy to let us go and do our own thing. Mine prayed before meals while hers just started the meal when the first person took a bite. But as we spent more time with them I was stopped in my tracks to see that in reality, they are so similar. Our grandparents care deeply about us and boast about the pride they have in each and every one of their grandparents. They complain as a way of showing their love and gratitude and what they are passionate about. In an odd way they bicker in the same way. Both our grandfathers don't care to participate in many of the outings...however they refuse to just let their wives go and do their own thing. They will insist on driving and sitting in the car. While they will complain the whole time, they would have it no other way. Our grandparents have worked hard for what they have and treasure every moment. I learned a lot about myself and my family as I spent time in Florida.
I learned two very interesting things about animals.
1. I learned the difference between Asian and African elephans. First, their ears are in the shape of the continent they come from. Secondly the Asian elephans all have tusks while NOT all African elephants do. African Elephants have two "fingers" on teh end of the trunk while Asian elephants have one. It was interesting to me.
2. We also learned the difference between Animal Rights Activists and Animal Welfare Advocates. An Activist would not want to see any human-animal interaction, would not want house pets and would also not like to see places like Zoos, Aniaml reserves, Busch Gardens or any other habitats. An Advocate would want to see healthy human-animal interaction. They care about and advocate for the proper care and training of animals. I personaly am an animal welfare advocate and proud of it!
My conclusion is this. Florida is a nice place to visit. However I will nto move there. Though I loved the warmth I would not want to struggle through the heat of the summer.
Thursday, February 2, 2012
remembering....
A few days ago I was cleaning out my room, discarding of things that I don't need. I came across some old papers from CMP 101 that for some reason I kept. I only read through one of them. And with tears in my eyes I threw it away.
When I left for college in 2004 I had one plan. I had no idea what degree I would get however I knew that I would get a degree in some area of helping people. I would move up to Lake Placid upon Graduation and work at the camp that had changed my life. Over the years that dream has not been met. Honestly, I don't think it will. Why? Because I have realized I have other dreams. So what made me think of this? That paper that I threw out was about a woman who had changed my life. I still think she has changed my life. Actually, I know that she saved it. She taught me about love and trust. She taught me about fear and overcoming it. She taught me about what it meant to love God. She taught me silly things and made me laugh. She gave me hope and encouraged me to never settle for less than I deserve. She cared for me and for my friends. She gave her life to loving and changing the lives of others. I spent time looking through this paper. It wasn't my best work...but it talked about who she was and how I had learned things like....humility...from her. But she hurt me.
She said she would be there...and now she is not. I know she is now married and lives somewhere in the Carolinas...but that is it. And I am ok with that. I recognize what she gave me and am grateful for that. I recognize how she hurt me and I have worked through that and learned from it. I am grateful I don't know where she is becuase I can't go looking for her. I don't even know her last name as she has gotten married since I last spoke with her.
The dream of loving and changing the lives of others is still there. But now it is much different. It is changing lives of others because of Christ and for Christ. It is living my life as a disciple. I counted the cost of letting go of this dream...and I am so grateful that I did. Yes, I still have so much gratitude and storge...but I know that to honor the gift that this woman and the other counselors at the camp gave me would be to live my life as a disciple of Christ, one day at a time carrying my cross and sharing his love.
I am grateful that I am not living in the bubble I set out to live in.
When I left for college in 2004 I had one plan. I had no idea what degree I would get however I knew that I would get a degree in some area of helping people. I would move up to Lake Placid upon Graduation and work at the camp that had changed my life. Over the years that dream has not been met. Honestly, I don't think it will. Why? Because I have realized I have other dreams. So what made me think of this? That paper that I threw out was about a woman who had changed my life. I still think she has changed my life. Actually, I know that she saved it. She taught me about love and trust. She taught me about fear and overcoming it. She taught me about what it meant to love God. She taught me silly things and made me laugh. She gave me hope and encouraged me to never settle for less than I deserve. She cared for me and for my friends. She gave her life to loving and changing the lives of others. I spent time looking through this paper. It wasn't my best work...but it talked about who she was and how I had learned things like....humility...from her. But she hurt me.
She said she would be there...and now she is not. I know she is now married and lives somewhere in the Carolinas...but that is it. And I am ok with that. I recognize what she gave me and am grateful for that. I recognize how she hurt me and I have worked through that and learned from it. I am grateful I don't know where she is becuase I can't go looking for her. I don't even know her last name as she has gotten married since I last spoke with her.
The dream of loving and changing the lives of others is still there. But now it is much different. It is changing lives of others because of Christ and for Christ. It is living my life as a disciple. I counted the cost of letting go of this dream...and I am so grateful that I did. Yes, I still have so much gratitude and storge...but I know that to honor the gift that this woman and the other counselors at the camp gave me would be to live my life as a disciple of Christ, one day at a time carrying my cross and sharing his love.
I am grateful that I am not living in the bubble I set out to live in.
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Another Bus Story
I grew up in a small town where you could walk down the road and run into people who knew you from childhood. Everyone looked out for you and you were never afraid of being messed with. I never had to talk about my disability. Why? Because everyone knew. And though they often forgot that I was different (which was a relief) they looked out for me, they were not thrown off by my inability to see things and I didn't have to explain myself. So when I went away to college I had to start over, I needed to learn to tell my story for the first time. Telling my story is still a challenge at times. I was telling a small piece of my story to a dear friend on Monday night and it was heart wrenching. I realized even more that I wish I could write these things down so that I could share more effectively, communicate it without telling and retelling the stories.
I rarely take the bus home from work on Tuesdays, however this Tuesday my plans changed and I found myself standing in the cold waiting for the 11 just outside of work. As I got on the bus I found a seat near an older woman using a walker. She kindly asked me if I was completely blind. I aws grateful for the question. I would rather people ask than assume what I can or cannot see. So, I proceeded to tell her a little bit about what I see. Though it was awkward...it was a wonderful interaction. And then, things turned ugly...
I exited my bus when arriving downtown. After crossing the streets and finding my bus, a good block and a half away, I boarded the bus and quietly found a seat. A man proceeded to point and scream at me. Apparently I had "bumped" him with my cane while crossing the street. Due to the fact that it was dark I can only assume I was close to the curb and mistakenly thought I had hit the curb. But anyway....the problem occurred when he followed me onto the bus, began screaming at me and pointing with some force. H continually told me that I am not "F*ing" blind and that I had no right to "bump" him and needed to apologize. While he continued to yell I calmly stated that I was sorry and didn't realize he had hit me. He continued to yell, curse at me and call me awful names. I tried to block it out as he walked off of the bus. The woman who got on after him looked at me as tears filled my eyes and said "you stand up, curse him out, he has no right to treat you like that." I simply shook my head and let the teras trickle down my face.
As I arrived home the tears continued to fall. I was angry at how I had been treated. How not even the bus driver said anything. While I didn't agree with the statement of the woman who told me to stand up for myself...however I was secretly comforted inside by her support. My other response was anger at the accusations and assumptions he made. He should sit in "sensitivity to blindness" training at my work. He would learn a lot and I think his attitude woudl be transformed.
No, I am not blind. Yes, I can see. No, I do not like using my cane or traveling by bus. But yes, at night it is incredibly necessary for me to use my cane. By day I can listen to music while I ride the bus and walk with or without my cane...at night...that is not an option.
So to Mr. Jeff (a friend named him that), get over yourself, educate yourself and stop making assumptions about what I can and cannot do.
I rarely take the bus home from work on Tuesdays, however this Tuesday my plans changed and I found myself standing in the cold waiting for the 11 just outside of work. As I got on the bus I found a seat near an older woman using a walker. She kindly asked me if I was completely blind. I aws grateful for the question. I would rather people ask than assume what I can or cannot see. So, I proceeded to tell her a little bit about what I see. Though it was awkward...it was a wonderful interaction. And then, things turned ugly...
I exited my bus when arriving downtown. After crossing the streets and finding my bus, a good block and a half away, I boarded the bus and quietly found a seat. A man proceeded to point and scream at me. Apparently I had "bumped" him with my cane while crossing the street. Due to the fact that it was dark I can only assume I was close to the curb and mistakenly thought I had hit the curb. But anyway....the problem occurred when he followed me onto the bus, began screaming at me and pointing with some force. H continually told me that I am not "F*ing" blind and that I had no right to "bump" him and needed to apologize. While he continued to yell I calmly stated that I was sorry and didn't realize he had hit me. He continued to yell, curse at me and call me awful names. I tried to block it out as he walked off of the bus. The woman who got on after him looked at me as tears filled my eyes and said "you stand up, curse him out, he has no right to treat you like that." I simply shook my head and let the teras trickle down my face.
As I arrived home the tears continued to fall. I was angry at how I had been treated. How not even the bus driver said anything. While I didn't agree with the statement of the woman who told me to stand up for myself...however I was secretly comforted inside by her support. My other response was anger at the accusations and assumptions he made. He should sit in "sensitivity to blindness" training at my work. He would learn a lot and I think his attitude woudl be transformed.
No, I am not blind. Yes, I can see. No, I do not like using my cane or traveling by bus. But yes, at night it is incredibly necessary for me to use my cane. By day I can listen to music while I ride the bus and walk with or without my cane...at night...that is not an option.
So to Mr. Jeff (a friend named him that), get over yourself, educate yourself and stop making assumptions about what I can and cannot do.
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Years go by....
I haven't updated this blog in months...I don't think anyone even reads it. But that is ok...let's see how it goes trying to update it more regularly.
In the past few weeks I have been convicted by simplicity. Yeah, I have learned this before, but I don't mean simplicity of how much junk I keep in my room. I mean simplicity in words and actions. I guess I have learned that I want my actions to follow my words. If I say I am going to send you an email, I better do it. When I love someone and speak of who they are, I want to show them that I love them. When I say I will be there to support you in person and in prayer, I want to do that. I am sick of not following through. Yeah, I am probably better than others at this...but I am still not great. In regards to loving someone...this quote came to mind:
There's something in a simple hugThat always warms the heart,It welcomes us back homeAnd makes it easier to part....~Johnny Ray Ryder, Jr.
I work in "social work". Well, kind of. And, though I have had 5 years of education and mounds of things on top of it, and I have always bought into the idea of empathy. I am just now fully applying it to my life. A simple, "wow, that must be difficult for you" goes a long way. I get angry when I get the cold shoulder...so I am not going to give the cold shoulder to someone else. I will greet this day with love and empathize with those, as they go through good and bad, to offer my support and love them.
In the past few weeks I have been convicted by simplicity. Yeah, I have learned this before, but I don't mean simplicity of how much junk I keep in my room. I mean simplicity in words and actions. I guess I have learned that I want my actions to follow my words. If I say I am going to send you an email, I better do it. When I love someone and speak of who they are, I want to show them that I love them. When I say I will be there to support you in person and in prayer, I want to do that. I am sick of not following through. Yeah, I am probably better than others at this...but I am still not great. In regards to loving someone...this quote came to mind:
There's something in a simple hugThat always warms the heart,It welcomes us back homeAnd makes it easier to part....~Johnny Ray Ryder, Jr.
I work in "social work". Well, kind of. And, though I have had 5 years of education and mounds of things on top of it, and I have always bought into the idea of empathy. I am just now fully applying it to my life. A simple, "wow, that must be difficult for you" goes a long way. I get angry when I get the cold shoulder...so I am not going to give the cold shoulder to someone else. I will greet this day with love and empathize with those, as they go through good and bad, to offer my support and love them.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)