These are some of those lyrics that have simply stood out to me lately. I am nothing with out Christ. All I have is ugliness, bitterness, anger, frustration, jealous...but when he looks at me, all he sees is a reflection of him. I have been moved by these words, changed by the truth that they bring....so I thought I would pass them along.....

THE ONLY THING: Ronnie Freeman

I heard someone say the other day
They'd seen in me true love displayed
Blessed by something I had done for them
No sooner had they said these words
I found myself somehow disturbed
Uneasy as I took their compliment
Cause I know the heart inside this man
I know the truth of who I am...

(Chorus)
The only thing that's good in me is Jesus
The only thing that's good in me is Jesus
I know me well enough to know
No matter what this life may show
The only thing that's good in me is Jesus

If you could walk the hallways of my heart
And see things as they really are
I wonder if you might be surprised
Seeing faded walls of pride and fear
Rooms I've filled with faithless tears
And corners where I've stood in compromise
But you'd see the work His grace has done
You'd know just how far I've come

In a thousand years
When the dust of this world clears
And I look back on my life
And see in perfect light

(Chorus)
The only thing that's good in me is Jesus
The only thing that's good in me is Jesus
I know me well enough to know
No matter what this life may show
The only thing that's good in me is Jesus

The only thing that's good in me is Jesus
The only thing that's good in me is Jesus
I know me well enough to know
No matter what this life may show
The only thing that's good in me is Jesus

Todd Agnew - Something Beautiful Lyrics

I am struggling to find a way to make myself attractive to You
Attractive to You
I am trying to be more deserving of the gift You gave to me
So free

CHORUS
It's funny how all I can be
Is someone completely ugly
And yet when You look at me
You don't see a wretch, You see a reflection
Of something beautiful

I am searching for the water that can wash me clean enough
To earn Your love
I want to stop all the things that break Your heart
But come so natural to me, naturally

CHORUS
It's funny how all I can be
Is someone completely ugly
And yet when You look at me
You don't see a wretch, You see a reflection
Of something beautiful

I can't believe you could fall in love with me

CHORUS
And it's funny how all I can be
Is someone completely ugly
And yet when You look at me
You don't see a wretch, You see a reflection
Of something beautiful

You don't see a wretch, You see a reflection
Of something beautiful

My first interview

So...I have been searching for a job for sometime now...I had my "first interview" several weeks ago. I thought I had it all figured out...I knew what bus I would take to get there...well the three to four options I had...I knew how I would get home, I knew who my supervisor would be, I knew the agency inside and out...........but someone once told me that when God closes a door...he opens another one. Well, he shut this door. She shot my dreams.....but he has continued to open others. I had a second interview...this one for a position that I have absolutely no experience and limited knowledge, but I'm learning to trust. God isn't going to throw me into a position that I won't fit me. He isn't going to leave me empty handed. He is has promised to care for me, to equip me, to provide for me and to stand by me during the good and the bad. So its hard...its hard to get a no...especially when someone else tells you. Its hard to have your dreams shot down. Its hard to have your plans change. But...I don't want to live out my dreams...I want to live out God's will for my life...and that means continually taking myself off the thrown and keeping him on it..it means seeking him with a whole heart and digging into his truth. And.....I'm getting there....

Cane Travel and Bus Etiquette

So...since I don't have a job I have been taking this opportunity to learn the streets of Rochester. I have had "professional" training and have really appreciated it...even though it has made me step outside of my comfort zone. So...let's start the Bus Etiquette...because honestly...I was appalled. Learning the bus system is a challenge in itself. I have to know where I am, where I'm going...what bus number to take there and wait...which direction do I go to. If a transfer is required I need to know where to make that transfer...because some buses do not stop at my favorite bus stations (such as the library). Add to that I need to plan when I can leave and when I need to be there by...because that can complicate things. So...now that we have learned those details of the bus...let's add manners. The front section of teh bus is primarily for thos with disabilities, small children or the elderly. Ok...so yeah....I have a disability and it is soooo much easier to sit in the second straight forward seat on the right hand side by the window...but I can manage. So...I don't get too upset when someone doesn't give me a seat...but I have my cane out...so its not like I'm not noticeable. It angers me more for the person that can't adapt, the person that can't adjust to where there is a seat. And standing...not fun. Subway standing is bad...bus is worse.
So....how else have I grown. Traveling with a cane is NOT my preference. It puts a label on me and a sticker on my forward that says "watch out, blind girl." But if I miss my stop because I couldn't see and the driver doesn't know that I don't see well...it is no one's fault but mine. Plus...that curb I missed on my way to a friend's house last week...yep wouldn't have missed it if I had my cane out sooner. So...God has definitely humbled me to rely on others and to be bold with myself...letting it be ok that I use a piece of equipment to help me...its only far to myself and others.
What else have I learned about the city? Well did you know that all streets run North and South and all Avenues run East to West...or they are supposed to. Plus...if you are looking for a house number...EVEN numbers are on the North or East side of the street and all ODD numbers are on the South and West. Someday I will have mastered this city. Until then I am in awe of the things I learn. I am learning to like the bus. Someday, I will love it. But please...use your manners.

Getting To Know You

When I think about those that I love and know well, I often think about how I got to know them. First I think to those awkward, nor not so awkward, moments of introduction. Those first impressions that stick with us, whether we break through them or we are forever reminded of how they are true. My college roommate...she introduced herself ot me. I thought she was going to cry...but really she wasn't. She was wearing a light blue long sleve shirt, her hair pulled back in a clip. I think of my current roommates. One which I met at camp...yeah...confused her with another girl...was confused as to who had just returned from spain. The other...was hyped up on coffee...and yet I still live iwth her. Just over 8 years ago I met a girl at Cornell, I went to go get her for breakfast in the morning...she was not a morning person...and now...we see each other regularly and my love for her has grown significantly. How about that intimidating junior who introduced herself to me when I was a scared freshman? I never thought our relationship would be built to where it is today.
But let's take a step back. I often hear people and partake in conversations about "love languages." So...I started to try and understand them...but I couldn't. I can't pin point my "love language." I just simply have come to a place to recognize what I appreciate in a person. So what are those things? I appreciate undivided attention...not in a selfish way. But I have come to a place where I have a healthy respect for technology...and I can't stand it when someone is only half there, spending their time texting or what not...when we could be...who knows. I appreciate the times when conversation goes deeper to a heart level...and when we can simply be in each other's company and share a movie...or a story...or a game. I appreciate a hug from some, a laugh from others. I appreciate a gift from some and words of encouragement from another. I appreciate a gift from the heart, that quality time and "I was thinking of you" stuff. I love long walks, beaches, dinners. I love serving together and loving together. I love road trips and adventurous things...anything from horseback riding and gardens to white water rafting and skydiving. I love it when someone goes out of their way to say "i love you." Its that unexpected phone call, that unexpected letter. Its that simple checking in to see how things are going....that is what I appreciate in others.
And yet...as I think about the things I love in others...I think about all the times I fall short of my own standards. I value setting an example...If I expect something of someone else...I expect even more of myself. So for all the times I have fallen short of my own standards...I'm sorry. I am human...but I seek to serve others with the love God has given me. I seek to love others as they love me.


Yeah...if this doesn't all make sense....its ok because it doesn't always make sense in my own mind.

Bring The Rain

My heart is quite full. And I don't feel as though I have the emotional soundness to really explain why...But this song speaks to where I am, how I am feeling and what has been running through my head...


Bring The Rain
By: Mercy Me

I can count a million times
People asking me how I
Can praise You with all that I've gone through
The question just amazes me
Can circumstances possibly
Change who I forever am in You
Maybe since my life was changed
Long before these rainy days
It's never really ever crossed my mind
To turn my back on you, oh Lord
My only shelter from the storm
But instead I draw closer through these times
So I pray

Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain

I am Yours regardless of
The dark clouds that may loom above
Because You are much greater than my pain
You who made a way for me
By suffering Your destiny
So tell me what's a little rain
So I pray

Holy, holy, holy
Is the Lord God Almighty

I love the odd things we see in the places we live. Sometimes they seem so normal to us...but to the outsider they seem so odd. Other times, we continue to thing they are odd...or we come to a new place, or even a familiar place and notice new things. Things that just don't fit. Now living in the city I cracked up one day as the ice cream man drove down the street. Growing up I always saw the ice cream man in my travels. It was always this truck with a "beautiful" song coming from its speakers. Pictures of ice cream plastered on its side always accompanied by a friendly face. In fact, we even had one come through our small town a couple times one summer. But this time when I saw the ice cream man coming down the street, I couldn't help but laugh at the different sight I saw. Words cannot explain it....so just make your own comments regarding the sight I saw.

Danielle

Growing up my family was surrounded by families. We lived in a small village where everyone knew who you were, who your parents were and what they did for a living. Everyone was on a first name basis and we could never do anything wrong as kids...because if our parents didn't find out directly...well they would find out from so and so's parents. I can name several families we were close with. There was the Fruscella gang, the Godfrey boys, the Ellis and the Hudons...along with others. Danielle Hudon was four years older than me, her sister Nicole slightly older than her. Though time has past I can still remember the memories so clearly...
Danielle and Nicole were always a source of joy. They were like two older sisters that were always there. When tough times came, we joined together to support them. I can remember going to their house to pack up, make meals, clean and simply be there during their mom's divorce. I can remember visiting them, a 16 hour car ride to Alfaretta, Georgia with my family. Endless hours of playing in the pool, taking pictures when the girls went off to their prom. We were there for the good times, and there for the bad. Danielle gave me one of my favorite stuffed animals, which has since fallen to pieces. They cared for me as a sister. I was there to get them off the bus on our school break, the cute little kid who had nothing better to do. The girls were there to teach the puppies how to swim...or rather throw them in the pool. We spent endless rainy days playing pool, pinball and dangerous games of ping pong in the basement. We spent many sunny days in the pool or screaming our brains out at Six Flags. I am pretty certain the girls played hookie more than once while we visited. ...and now, Danielle has left us in a tragedy that shocked the whole community. Danielle was killed in a murder-suicide in her home in Indian Hills Colorado. Her Boyfriend and her were planning to return to the Barneveld, NY area this month and the landlord was showing the house to perspective tenants when the bodies were found in separate rooms. The boyfriend is the suspect and had also killed the dog. She is survived by her mother: Bambi and stepfather Rogger, Father Dan and his wife Jody. She has a sister, Nicole who lives in Barneveld where the girls grew up. Her cousins, Erica, Ashley and Michael were dear friends of mine growing up. Many other family members have joined together in grieving her loss. Danielle Lynn Hudon: November 12, 1981-August 23, 2009...you are missed