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Saturday, October 9, 2010

You Are More

I guess songs still mean a lot to me these days. This one keeps playing over and over in my head......so I thought I'd share


You Are More by: Tenth Avenue North

There's a girl in the corner
With tear stains on her eyes
From the places she's wandered
And the shame she can't hide

She says, "How did I get here?
I'm not who I once was.
And I'm crippled by the fear
That I've fallen too far to love"

But don't you know who you are,
What's been done for you?
Yeah don't you know who you are?

You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.

Well she tries to believe it
That she's been given new life
But she can't shake the feeling
That it's not true tonight

She knows all the answers
And she's rehearsed all the lines
And so she'll try to do better
But then she's too weak to try

But don't you know who you are?

You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.

You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.

'Cause this is not about what you've done,
But what's been done for you.
This is not about where you've been,
But where your brokenness brings you to

This is not about what you feel,
But what He felt to forgive you,
And what He felt to make you loved.

You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.

You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.

You've been remade
You've been remade.
You've been remade.
You've been remade.

Saturday, June 12, 2010

...

You know, its been over a year since I graduated with a master's degree. Some things are the same...but it amazes me how much more has changed in the past year. I still don't have a job, but my identity is not in that. I still haven't passed that license exam...but my identity is not in that. It seems as though it has been a time of change....so what has changed...
My big brother is engaged. He will be getting married this winter. This is a whole new concept...its no longer me and my brother and sister...its my and my brother and my sister and my soon to be sister-in-law... Sister-in-law? How does that relationship work? Seriously. I am so excited for them...but its foreign. Its new. I am excited to support them and stand beside them on this day.
My idea of loving someone has completely changed. To love is not to fix everything or take the pain away. To love is not to be selfish and do things that are easy. Loving is hard. Loving means point out when someone isn't living up to the life they claim to live, loving someone means feeling their pain, loving someone means pulling all nighters in the hospital, loving someone means walking through the hard stuff to see them on the other side. Loving someone is hard...so hard.
Its been over a year since we started working with our Karen family...and today I could never picture not having them a part of my life. It is no longer a family we work with....they are OUR family...we are just as much a part of their family as they are ours. It is incredible to see a child grow up...incredible and so hard. I have become a role model to them...and they look up to us. But that means doing the hard things too.

Hard things....like losing friends, making friends, speaking truth...family stuff...

Eight years ago I spent a weekend with a dear friend from camp. We swam in the lake and we flew in Papa's plane...but since then it has only been infrequent phone calls, an email...a facebook message. But that changed us. We learned to rely on each other for conversations when no one else was around, we shared the hard stuff, and the fun stuff. We talked each other through school and graduate school. But this week we saw each other face to face. It had been so long. And yet now...I miss her so much more....its like I had learned to be where we were...and now that we have seen each other again...i miss her more.

I apologize for not keeping up on this....we'll try to be better...and I'll try to share some of the things that have happened since November...you know....the things that have made me who I am today...