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Saturday, February 18, 2012

We are one

Somewhere between walking out our front doors and stepping foot on the bus we become one. No matter our age, gender, religious affiliation, ethnicity, language spoken, status in life, physicial limitation or disability, or any other factor...we are one. We all have a destination and a starting point. We are all traveling on someone else's watch. We have given up control. We travel to work, appointments, shopping, friend's houses...maybe we simply take the bus for a joy ride...who knows. If we get on the wrong bus...o well. You can't go back. You must find a new way to get there. We become one. There is no distinction between us. I ride with people who are above me in the professional world. I ride with people who are my clients. I ride with people who are just like me, struggling to find their way in a blurry world. I ride with people who are unemployed, on welfare and struggling to make ends meet. I ride with people who are simply trying to live their own life.
As I sat on the bus last night and the woman next to me realized she had gotten on the wrong bus, this reality hit me. Why? Because I have spent so much time being angry about the bus situation. But sometimes I wonder what I can do to make it better? What can I do to make more buses run and to save the stress. Absolutely nothing. I can't change the fact that we must rely on someone else's wheels. I want to be used in this area of my life. I want my braveness in riding the bus to build the kingdom. I want to speak love to these people, my fellow travelers. I want to pray for their souls, not just their rides. I want to pray for their journey, not just the destination.

I have learned a lot on the bus. I have feared a lot, experienced a lot and shed many tears. While I will still appreciate any ride offered to me and be incredibly grateful for the reprieve from this ordeal...I will try to greet my trips on the bus with joy, with joy that overflows.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Six Beaches in Six Days.

So I spent last week in Florida with dear friend. We didn't go all out in the way others do. No Disney, no late nights, no crazy adventures. We simply kept it low key and simple...however I could feel the aches in my legs as we returned back each day.
The idea was go go on a vacation but to see family in the process and to be an encouragement to each otehr and to our grandparents. For me, it was crazy. My grandparents take every opportunity to do all the things tourists should do while in Sarasota. It was a joy to walk the beaches of Siesta and Lido Keys. The sand was like flour between our toes. We learned how to play Shuffle Board and we enjoyed the luxury of fun meals.
As we transitioned to another home to spend time with I could help but notice HOW different our grandparents were. While my grandparents want to do everything with us and take us on adventures, hers were happy to let us go and do our own thing. Mine prayed before meals while hers just started the meal when the first person took a bite. But as we spent more time with them I was stopped in my tracks to see that in reality, they are so similar. Our grandparents care deeply about us and boast about the pride they have in each and every one of their grandparents. They complain as a way of showing their love and gratitude and what they are passionate about. In an odd way they bicker in the same way. Both our grandfathers don't care to participate in many of the outings...however they refuse to just let their wives go and do their own thing. They will insist on driving and sitting in the car. While they will complain the whole time, they would have it no other way. Our grandparents have worked hard for what they have and treasure every moment. I learned a lot about myself and my family as I spent time in Florida.

I learned two very interesting things about animals.
1. I learned the difference between Asian and African elephans. First, their ears are in the shape of the continent they come from. Secondly the Asian elephans all have tusks while NOT all African elephants do. African Elephants have two "fingers" on teh end of the trunk while Asian elephants have one. It was interesting to me.

2. We also learned the difference between Animal Rights Activists and Animal Welfare Advocates. An Activist would not want to see any human-animal interaction, would not want house pets and would also not like to see places like Zoos, Aniaml reserves, Busch Gardens or any other habitats. An Advocate would want to see healthy human-animal interaction. They care about and advocate for the proper care and training of animals. I personaly am an animal welfare advocate and proud of it!

My conclusion is this. Florida is a nice place to visit. However I will nto move there. Though I loved the warmth I would not want to struggle through the heat of the summer.

Thursday, February 2, 2012


A few days ago I was cleaning out my room, discarding of things that I don't need. I came across some old papers from CMP 101 that for some reason I kept. I only read through one of them. And with tears in my eyes I threw it away.

When I left for college in 2004 I had one plan. I had no idea what degree I would get however I knew that I would get a degree in some area of helping people. I would move up to Lake Placid upon Graduation and work at the camp that had changed my life. Over the years that dream has not been met. Honestly, I don't think it will. Why? Because I have realized I have other dreams. So what made me think of this? That paper that I threw out was about a woman who had changed my life. I still think she has changed my life. Actually, I know that she saved it. She taught me about love and trust. She taught me about fear and overcoming it. She taught me about what it meant to love God. She taught me silly things and made me laugh. She gave me hope and encouraged me to never settle for less than I deserve. She cared for me and for my friends. She gave her life to loving and changing the lives of others. I spent time looking through this paper. It wasn't my best work...but it talked about who she was and how I had learned things like....humility...from her. But she hurt me.
She said she would be there...and now she is not. I know she is now married and lives somewhere in the Carolinas...but that is it. And I am ok with that. I recognize what she gave me and am grateful for that. I recognize how she hurt me and I have worked through that and learned from it. I am grateful I don't know where she is becuase I can't go looking for her. I don't even know her last name as she has gotten married since I last spoke with her.
The dream of loving and changing the lives of others is still there. But now it is much different. It is changing lives of others because of Christ and for Christ. It is living my life as a disciple. I counted the cost of letting go of this dream...and I am so grateful that I did. Yes, I still have so much gratitude and storge...but I know that to honor the gift that this woman and the other counselors at the camp gave me would be to live my life as a disciple of Christ, one day at a time carrying my cross and sharing his love.

I am grateful that I am not living in the bubble I set out to live in.