Pain is not meaningless

Pain is no evil, unless it conquers us.


- Charles Kingsley



In the past few months and at various times in my life I have experienced extreme pain that feels meaningless. It paralyzes me physically to a point at which I cannot live out my life as Christ's Disciple. It paralyzes me emotionally. I am now at a place of discouragement and fear, a place where I see no end or relief to the pain. I see no solution...and many times I become bitter, angry, frustrated and depressed.   But I never lose sight for more than a moment of what I learn through pain. Secondly, what others learn through pain. I have learned what it means to depend on God. I have learned what it means for this body, this life, this Sukkah to be temporary. I have learned that mourning, grieving and handing the emotional turmoil of this life is far more painful than the physical pain will inflict on us. I have seen brothers and sisters join together to love, support and serve the ones they love. I have seen these same individuals overcome fears, discomforts and unforseen circumstances. I have seen them grow in their boldness and creativity in loving others and carrying out their daily activities. I have been blessed by the opportunities I have had to stand beside men and women I wouldn't generally be able to encourage or to be encouraged by. I have been humbled by the times I find myself unable to complete a daily task with out the support of others. I have learned to bear the pain of others and to allow others to carry and feel my pain.   I can't always "make sense" of the pain or rationalize it. But I can choose gratitude for the ways I am change because of its presence in my life. And at a time like this when the pain seems to have no purpose or course I can only take refuge and hope in the God who has carried me through each course of pain. I can hope and have faith in the things I will gain because of this pain. That will carry me through.