looking back and moving forward

Yesterday I had the odd opportunity of attending a play therapy class with a friend of mine. I went for many reasons, many of which I didn't tell people before hand. I went because I respect and admire the professor who teaches it and I wanted to see her. I went because I miss education...ok so that is a loaded response. But after sitting in the class I walked away with a new perspective on my education, my career and who I am.
As I sat in class something the professor said stuck with me. The topic was on Filial therapy and a conversation proceeded as to why parents were reluctant to participate. But the answer is simple: because it is uncomfortable, because we don't want to fail, because we don't want to look stupid. Its the same with school. We don't want to do the presentations because it means putting our vulnerable selves out there. This is one reason I was comfortable going back to class. Because it is comfortable, known and I know that I can overcome the challenges it brings. But it was more than that. I hunger for knowledge. I hunger to learn and grow and become a stronger and more effective social worker. I desire to further who I am in my position. I desire to learn the things that I lack. When I was in school I focused on what I thought was beneficial. I focused on what I thought I would need to know in order to achieve success. But now that I am on the other side, now that I am putting that practice to knowledge...I am wishing I focused on other things. I am wishing I had invested my time in the things I know now would be beneficial. I wish now that I could go back and get my degree now. To have that opportunity to learn these things again.
While that is not possible. I am inspired to learn what I can. I am inspired to press through what is uncomfortable now. I look at my team leader, my boss, the woman who leads our fearless group through the everyday challenges and desire to have her experience and knowledge. For a while this intimidated me. It made me cower in frustration and fear. But then I realized that she is my go to person, the person that can share all of that knowledge and understanding. She in her own way is teaching me as I had been taught in college.