Shaded views

As I sit in my office following my boss's directions I am looking at things through shades. After two failed efforts at assignments I approached her for additional work. She told me to go in my office, put my sunglasses on, close the door and pretend like I wasn't there. I struggle with lack of productivity...I always want to be working to my fullest. But...when the pain is beyond control...you do what you have to. So...I am reminded now of how "shades" change what you see. They alter it so that you are not seeing clearly and not working to your fullest.  It reminded me of the ways in which lies do the same...

Lies. Well I started reading a book with a friend of mine for a book discussion we plan on joining. Grace (Eventually) is a hysterical book of shorter stories by Anne Lamott. An excerpt from yesterday reads:

"Lies cannot nourish or protect you. Only freedom from fear, freedom from lies, can make us beautiful and keep us safe."

This is incredibly true. When we listen to or believe lies our view of ourself is shaded and tainted. We see an impure, broken and destroyed self. We don't see the full picture but rather we see it through a colored filter. Think about those times you put tinted shades on and wonder why everything looks rose colored. You don't have a proper view of what you are seeing. Lies do the same. Lies don't build up good but tear it down to the negative. And those don't nourish or protect us.

So as I sit at my desk with the lights off and door closed and shades on...I am unable to read my phone screen. If my phone rings I don't know if its my boss, the front desk, some random person asking for help or an individual who was supposed to call me back last week. My view is tinted and shaded. It will change the way in which I greet each call.